Recently I presented a paper in my DMin class on what the Bible teaches about order in the marriage partnership. This paper sought to define terms, exposit pertinent scriptures, and provide practical application. It also sought to make the reader aware of how some well intended Christian teachers have complicated the issue. Thus, in a hopes that what I have found and written will benefit you,I am presenting this paper over the next several posts. Should you have questions or comments, you may send them to
Perseveringpastor@gmail.com.
It is no longer news that the
divorce rate, even among Christian marriages, is indicating failure at an
alarming rate.
[i] Because of this, it can be assumed, that
marriages which have not experienced divorce operate at times under much
stress.
Few marriages could be considered
as being in marital bliss, even among professing Christians.
This paper will attempt to look to the biblical
order of marriage, pertaining to the rolls of husband and wife.
By fulfilling biblical order countless
couples could be helped to experience a putting off of strife and putting on the
harmony of being united as one flesh.
It
is believed that biblical marriages can find a joyful accord that glorifies God
despite the influences of the world.
Key terms and scriptural elements involved
When
we look at marriage within the Bible we need to understand the biblical use of
key terms and elemental dynamics as taught in scripture. Understanding these terms and the context in
which they are applied will help us with practical application and doctrine
today.
Cleaving
is one of the most used concepts in marriage ceremonies. It truly gives us insight as to God’s
original intention for marriage. God
created Adam and Eve unique. This is
seen in the biblical descriptions of creation in Genesis chapter 2. Only they were “created in God’s own image,”
and proclaimed to be very good. The
plants and animals, stars and light were all created by God through speaking. Adam was formed however by God’s hand out of
the dust of the earth. Eve was formed by
God performing the very first surgery. She
was created for the purpose of being a suitable helper for Adam, and as a
co-regent. Thus God had brought the two
together for the purpose of glorifying Him.
In this unity there would be praise unto God. This is considered a “creation ordinance.”
A
creation ordinance is; “an appeal to some facet of creation before the fall to
support a NT speaker’s or writer’s perspective as equally appropriate in this
new age.”
[ii] Though
God created them male and female, they are complementary not competitive.
In the redemption of the world Christ looks
to reconcile human relationships.
“Human
relationship should increasingly reflect God’s original intentions in creation,
irrespective of later OT concessions to fallen, human nature.”
[iii]
The
idea of one flesh is a picture of God’s intention. It carries the idea of
intimacy. When Adam and Eve were without
sin they could be naked and unashamed.
This is apparently part of the one flesh union. Because they had never
sinned there was no reason nor opportunity to criticize each other. They were
in harmony without comparisons or self-entitlements. Truly this bliss was unhindered, even by the
physical.
Through
the action of cleaving, the married couple will grow more and more as one
flesh.
In the progression of daily
loving one another, they should seek to become more of one mind.
The Greek word
sarx is used to describe the physical flesh; yet used in the
context of Matthew 19:15, it more reasonably refers to one heart or even
possibly spirit.
This is evidenced by
the account of Matthew 19:15 that; “God is the one who joins marriages
together. Humans therefore have no right to separate what God has united.”
[iv]
Perhaps
the most controversial and misapplied parameter of biblical marriage would be
the doctrine of submission. The idea of
submission seems to be tied to the respect a wife is to give her husband. Submission is implied right before the
illustration of the order of the home. This is by no means a pecking order of
superiority, for any such notion is counterbalanced by the love a husband is
commanded to provide his wife. She is to
be cherished, and sanctified by the husband in a manner of gentleness, not
force.
The
idea of submission is such that the wife is pictured alongside the husband,
following his lead. He in turn is
leading in paths of righteousness. This
is seen in the Christ and church examples of the New Testament.
A
closely related term that needs to be addressed is the respect a wife owes her
husband. Throughout the Bible, God
demonstrates order over chaos. The
respect a wife gives her husband is a reflection of the place a couple gives to
God in the home. God has ordained that
we respect the authorities that He has placed in position; Romans 13:1, 1
Timothy 2:12.
The idea of
covenantal marriage stems from the doctrine of the church being the bride of
Christ.
We can see the similarities in
Ephesians 5 where Paul clearly relates he is talking of the church when he uses
marriage terms. As God joins a couple together in what we call “holy matrimony,”
we imply in the marriage vows of the Christian that; “a sacred bond between
husband and wife before God as witness,” is being created.
[v] Malachi 2:14 gives testimony to these
implications.
“Covenantal language (that
is, terms that convey the concept of covenant) in the foundational Genesis
narrative may include the reference to the “one-flesh” union between husband
and wife in Genesis 2:24.”
[vi]
Because a marriage
in Christian circumstances is to be considered a covenant, we can better
understand God’s command to not be unequally yoked, for believers not to marry
an unbeliever, and why several Old Testament passages warned about the people
of God mixing with the pagans. The covenant idea is not to be compared in
totality with the covenant God makes with man.
However, the similarities are strong enough that a picture is created in
marriage of Christ’s love for His Bride.
The book of Hosea is a clear representation of God’s grace and endurance
amidst an adulterous people. The term “adultery”
itself gives indications as to breaking covenant. God often describes His people who rebel and
worship other gods as being adulterous. This
imagery provides serious implications and illustrations for married couples to
persevere and forgive.
The idea of
covenant implies a sacredness and permanence to the marriage.
Scripture indicates that as long as the two
are living they are in a relationship that should not be broken.
[vii] Covenantal marriage also directly implies a
high value on exclusivity in the union.
Language such as “What God has joined let no man separate,” “I hate
divorce,” “Two becoming one flesh;” all emphasize with strong language that
marriage before God is to reflect His exclusivity to His own.
Thus, Christian marriages are a covenant
lived out before the world to display the character of God.
Because it is also “holy matrimony,”
following the character and creation of God we see that it is between one man
and one woman, neither a homosexual nor a bigamous union. Many scriptures warn
against such beliefs. (1 Timothy 1:10, 3, and Titus 1:6, 1 Cor 6:9)
It is true that complex marriages did exist
in the scriptures, but they were never said to be condoned by God.
The intimacy of
marriage gives the ultimate cohesion of relationships. By God’s design the man
and woman create a symbiotic union in order to please God through the raising
of offspring for His glory. Children see
the outward oneness of the mom and dad; this is a first step in their education
of who God is.
[i]
Stanton, Glenn T. “Fact Checker: Divorce Rate Among Christians”. The Gospel
Coalition. (Sept 25, 2012) thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/tgc/2012/09/25/factchecker-divorce-rate-among-christians/(
[ii]
Beale, G. K. and Carson, D. A, Commentary
on the New Testament Use of the Old Testament, Baker Academic: Grand
Rapids, MI. 2007. p59.
[v]
Kostenberger, Andreas J., God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical
Foundations. Wheaton, Crossway, 2004. p73.
[vii]
Luke 20:35 indicates that in Heaven persons are not given in marriage, and
death has translated the marriage to another status.
