Learning From My Failures

This summer I have been blessed with the experience of having an intern. Truly this experience is teaching us both many things. Being a smaller church, I never expected to have an intern. It find it a pleasant experience while yet personally revealing.

Our intern is a young man who is skilled in leading bible study, but lacking experience in the practical things of everyday ministry. He is a member of a much larger church that would not be able to afford him the latitude that he is now getting. It is my prayer that in his time here we would serve him well. Honestly, no seminary that I have found can fully prepare you for the ministry life in a typical church. As an intern he is getting a chance to make morning announcements, prepare and serve children’s sermons, and make the usual rounds.

By making the rounds I mean he has been thus far able to attend funerals, make hospital visits, nursing home visits, and in home visits. He has had to deal with changing schedules and cancellation of meetings. Part of his intern experience has him heading up a mission trip that we have next week, and generally dealing with all the responsibilities of wearing multiple hats in servanthood. I greatly look forward to his preaching his very first sermon in a couple of weeks.

Because of all I am trying to pour into my friend in this time, I find myself reflecting heavily on my past fifteen years of being a pastor. There are many, many events that I look upon and have learned from. One of my biggest concerns for this young man is that he not make the same mistakes that I have made. Thus, in my reflections I find these things to be what I would most do differently had I had the opportunity to do over many decisions.

First off I would have begun journaling from day 1. It would have benefitted me to have a book to look back upon in reflection of my experiences and especially the things God has revealed to me. If I had such a journal I would perhaps turn it into a playbook on persevering in ministry. I would have titled it So You Got Your First Church, Now What? There is much this ole mind has forgotten, and I wish I had a means to reflect and learn even more.

The second thing that comes to mind would honestly be that I need to be cautious with whom I trust and to get my facts straight before responding. James has much to say about this in his first chapter. In several situations I was gullible to listen and believe people whom had a hidden agenda. Their gossip and opinions captivated my attention ant thusly I never gave their victim a proper chance. In this lesson I also found that some will turn on you if their way is not heeded. It is sad. It is true. My poor wife once had to endure a business meeting being accused of unfounded gossip by someone whom that morning had tried successfully to bait me with an issue. My lesson learned is to listen with caution, create opinions based on facts and redemption, and pray much before acting.

Along these lines, I have shared with our intern that there will be difficult people to deal with. I have often made the mistake of being inexperienced and aloof. My advice to our intern is being more open for people to come to you with problems and listen. Follow up with them. Give them every opportunity to peacefully talk with you. By doing so you may diffuse many situations. However, some people are hard to deal with. Take the shots that need to be taken and find your peace in God. As much as depends upon you, be at peace with all men. Also I have advised him to work with your deacons in this situation. Often they are wise in “tribal knowledge” and can greatly pilot your ship in treacherous waters.

The next thing that comes to mind is the obvious shortcomings I have wrestled with. In my “do over” situation I would have played far less video games. Not that the games are bad, but I look at life and see that much of my time has been squandered. As a matter of fact, now the only games I usually play are those with my kids. Television viewing goes right along with video games. I find it has been too much unprofitable time. Other things that have wasted my time are owning a home that has more repair needs than I can handle and not sequestering myself for deeper bible study. These at present are still struggles but I am finding much victory.

My advice to our intern, budget your time and stick to it. Don’t evaluate an opportunity by saying “what is wrong with it”, ask instead “Will this glorify God?”

Sounding like an oxymoron, I advise our ministry student to relax vigorously. When we relax it ought to be to the glory of God. It should not be a time of our mind wandering to our “to do” list, nor should it be multitasking. I have spent too much time failing here. Now, as I advise our intern, plan ahead to relax. Turn the cell phone off. Keep home as much a place of respite as possible. Rise early and walk with God. Let the truth of scripture care for your situations and responsibilities. Some time relaxing may mean leaving the house and going to a park or museum. And there are certain time that we need to go away to pray. Prayer refreshes the soul and gives it relaxation.

The next area is an area I believe I have made both mistakes and advances in. It is an area we all need ongoing refinement. This would be in communication and perception. I have made countless mistakes in communicating my ideas. Such mistakes can have far reaching implications. One day I was visiting a member who had a typical cold. As I left I said, “Miss W, hope ya get better. I don’t want to be doing no funerals”. A year later in the aforementioned “Business meeting”, I came to find that a rumor was circulating that I refused to perform weddings, funerals, or visits. All this was despite several eyewitness to my involvement in wedding, funerals, and visits. Some things I have said could be said more politely. Many could be said with grace. Some should have never been said at all.

My advice to our intern, think deeply. Consider your audience. Choose your battles wisely. Listen, listen some more. Find the right words. Don’t e-mail what is best said in person. Let many things go. Read books like Rosalie Maggio’s How To Say It. Also read Peter Post’s book on Manners for the gentleman. Over the yeas, and even this morning, I find that the most difficult thing to do is have the right word in the right timing. But by the grace of God, we can have this wisdom. It must be daily gathered as was manna.

The last lesson of my list would be to not handle things too rapidly. This would be the close cousin to the previous advice. Stated another way, don’t jump to conclusions quickly and don’t act on first impulse. As I alluded to before, the apostle James puts it this way, Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

Even if what you are doing is not “volatile” let it crock pot. Articles, decisions, and sermons need time to marinate and go through revision. Often a next day read through illuminates confusing points and references. Plans change. Giving people plans and itineraries that are subject to change can lessen your credibility and the participation of others. Don’t reveal or start something that has not had time to be solidified. Repeated instances of such mistakes will surely be a detriment.

Thus as I look aver my years I find I am still learning and seeking. To have this opportunity with our intern has been a blessing of self introspection. I do not find that I have arrived, or am even worthy to be training this young man. Perhaps he will benefit from my mistakes and thus bring about some further value to my ministry.

Thinking About Thinking

The other day I stated on my Facebook page, “Do we ever really think and ponder, or do we just critique”. I hope this is something to think about.

As a matter of fact, I have been reading John Piper’s book Think. I also have been reading the banter on Tim Challies’ blog regarding Dietrich Bonhoeffer as represented in Eric Metaxas book Bonhoeffer, Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy.

The Piper book promotes the need for people to be thinkers, and to meditate on the Glories of God through deep thinking. He does a great job of illustrating how the anti-intellectual mindset has crippled Christianity. (My opinion) The Challies blog shows a great deal of dialog with a few getting the point very well, but others critiquing minor points ad nauseum. Simply, the point is we need to be challenged to think.

I once heard it said that the reason President Richard Nixon fell into the crimes and means his life is marked with is that he surrounded himself with like minded men. He failed to have someone who would challenge his path or mindset. This ultimately led to a group mentality of “we can’t go wrong”. This ought to serve a lesson; that we must be guarded against whom our influences are. As it is said, “if you roll with the dogs you are going to get fleas”. Some influences should not be regarded. I have briefly spoken on this factor in this same blog under the heading of Discretion.

Now, let us assume that with discretion in place we think. We must think. We are called to be logical creatures. If I may paraphrase Piper a bit, by the very use of the word “Therefore” in the scriptures God implies that we are to be rational, logical, and educated thinkers. We must think to arrive at solid Gospel centered conclusions. And when we think we learn. Thinking promotes changes in the heart that are crucial. Remember, we are to be transformed by the renewing of the mind. When you think you take possession of the ideas at hand. When you simply critique, you parrot others parroting opinions.

Had I written a response to the value of reading Bonhoeffer, or Metaxas’ book it would be that Bonhoeffer challenges our thinking. Yes I may not agree with his Christology or textual criticism. But I also may not agree with John Piper, Charles Finney, or others on some issues. Therefore, as responsible Christians who accept the command and duty to study to show ourselves approved, and ready to give every man an answer for our faith: we need to be able to defend why we disagree with others. This requires education. It requires us to think and be challenged.

Some have railed against intellectualism. And yet they promote Sunday school, which is a means of education. The ambiguous “They” also state that Jesus simply worked with uneducated men. I then ask, what was He doing with them; but educating them. Also, I do not believe that Luke, the Apostle Paul, nor Matthew the tax collector would be considered uneducated. Yes the Pharisees saw the twelve as such, but that may simply be a general statement.

Simply, we must think. Thinking is growth. It is defense against that which requires discretion. Thinking is the occupation of joy with achieving a greater knowledge of God.

Now I also mentioned America’s favorite pastime, critiquing. Sports fans consider this the ultimate expression of allegiance to their team. Writers and journalist tend to do this more than report the facts. It could also be stated that most people make decisions based more upon critique rather than deep thinking of values, causes, and effects. I am no different. But I will caveat that my thinking in this manner is changing as being someone with Celiac disease who must read every ingredient label. We are accustomed to critiquing. Critiquing is easy. It builds up the pride one has in their job, team, and accomplishments of the self. Yes, critique is easy, thinking is hard.

Critiquing in this sense is applying a preset value system against an opportunity, presentation, or whatever is groping for our attention. We too often fail to challenge our value system in a Biblical manner. Thus day after day we, remaining the same person as last year, keep making the same basic decisions.

But along with Piper I want to challenge us all. We are called to be disciples, life long students of God. Even our children need to be theologians. In the Schema we are to teach in every possible manner of life the ways and knowledge of God. This will require thinking. For as others think and propose ideas we need to be ready to meet the challenge. We need an apologetic for life, even if only for ourselves.

Part VI of A Critique of Evangelism via J C Ryle

Part 6

As we continue with Rev. Ryle let us now look at the next statement. Permit me here to get preachy. For I do agree with him that too often evangelism is watered down and ineffective.

"On the other side, many graceless people are deluded into thinking they are "converted," because under the pressure or animal excitement and temporary feelings they arc led to profess themselves Christians. And all this time the thoughtless and ungodly look on with contempt, and rind fresh reasons for neglecting religion altogether. The antidotes to the state of things I deplore are plain and few". J C Ryle

I can find no better evidence to support these statements than the parable of Christ known as the seed and the sower. I have witnessed many persons “come to faith” only to fall away. Unfortunately we often give these folks a false sense of security. My first church claimed to have over 450 members when they first described themselves in the church search process. Upon my arrival I found that their roles often consisted of simple names with no supporting information that were in a three ring binder. Several persons were found to be deceased, and even more were only listed by first and last name with no contact information. When pressed as to how they came to be considered members the reply was “they came forward and we voted on them”.

My dear Christian, this is a travesty and mockery of the church. Here people whom made an emotional decision or one in a time of working a deal with God were nowhere to be found. You too can surely attest to those who once were a part of the church whom have now fallen away. Surely the parable thus teaches us that they may give evidence but lack real sustaining root. These are not disciples. These are not Christians.

People in this state are looked at by the unconverted mockers as “having got religion”. I can attest that in my Godless days of seeing people “saved” and the mockers commenting that they will soon “get over it”. Thus we do the name of Christ a disservice by allowing folks to have a get saved quick ability. True people can be saved in an instant, but what are they saved with or to? Is it gospel lite? Is it a pitch that assures better prosperity? Was their sin ever dealt with by the Holy Spirit? These are the questions I ask.

We are easily given to impulses. Notice the catchy displays at the cash register in most stores. How about children., and adults alike, that “need’ a souvenir at some stopping place only to have it as garage sale fodder a year later? Many people wear Mickey Mouse shirts per capita at Disney world, but go to your average shopping mall and they will exist in very sparse numbers. Why, it is all because of group mentality. It is a desire to belong. But Christ is not Mickey Mouse. Christ is the atonement and He and his message are the crux of life.

I say all this to say that gimmicks and methods that are used to gain a response rarely lead to true conversion. Our evangelism must be complete in laying out the gospel. People should not add Christ to their list of mental occupations; they should abandon all these and cling to Him only.

Part IV: A Critique of Evangelism via J C Ryle

Part 4

J C Ryle states…..

(4) The possession of inward joy and assurance is made essential to believing. Yet assurance is certainly not of the essence of saving faith. There may be faith when there is no assurance. To insist on all believers at once "rejoicing," as soon as they believe, is most unsafe. Some, I am quite sure, will rejoice without believing, while others will believe who cannot at once rejoice.

“How do you feel”? It is a question posed over and over to the newly converted. Though well meaning it can have a cancerous effect. To equate the salvation of a person with a feeling is most counter productive. It alludes that our salvation is in proportion to our joy. What about those days when you just don’t “feel like it”? When problems arise and you are angry, agitated, nervous, stressed, or despondent, have you lost your salvation”? The answer of course is no.

I can honestly remember dozens of times that “sales pitch” evangelism has been made only to follow a commitment prayer with “How do you feel”? It has even happened to me. I praise God for 1 John. Lately as I reread this great book I am reminded that with great compassion John writes to remind us of where our assurances lie. They reside within the working of the Holy Spirit abiding within us.

Now do not get me wrong. Emotions are highly important, especially joy. Remember, we were created to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. How can we enjoy someone and glorify them without joy in them?

When Jesus spoke to the woman at the well He made a profound truth known, “God seeks worshippers who will worship Him in spirit and in truth”. The truth is the doctrines, the correct theology, and adherence to the word of God. The spirit is that joy and treasuring, that love for God that glorifies Him above all the entrapments of the world or pleasures of sin. Thus as Ryle states, it is essential to have joy. A worshipper without inward joy is a fake, or at best confused. I often tell our people to wake up every day and realize that their greatest need has been met in Christ upon the cross. With that perspective we ought ot have overcoming joy in our trials, we ought to be worshipping in whatever we do, and unto the glory of God.

As C S Lewis states, “Joy is not complete till expressed”. Thus, to be a worshipper means that joy from within is then poured forth. Out of the heart the mouth speaks. Let the joy of the Lord be the strength to worship, and do so based upon His truths. True worship is an upward spiral. Truth brings joy which brings a deeper understanding of truth that brings more joy. Praise God that we were created to be worshippers in spirit and in truth.

Let us return to the topic of assurance. Ryle notes that assurance is not necessarily saving faith. You can believe something and be wrong. Columbus believed he had made the voyage to India. Doctors once believed that by bleeding patients they would save them. We need to believe and find assurances in Christ. We grow in this by discipleship. And yet, you can truly believe and not have assurance. I think of the father who came to Christ after the disciples could not help his son. He cried to Jesus “I believe, help my unbelief”. We are told that if we have faith like a mustard seed we can be saved. Remember, new Christians are often marked by a lack of knowledge, which is born through experience with Christ.

We all have moments when we lack assurance. These can be most beneficial. That is to say we do need to question our salvation. Are we trusting in ourselves or totally in Christ? We need to look at motives, experiences, and at the moment of commitment were our emotions getting the best of us. Then we need to call again upon Christ. Beg for His presence and saving work. We need to see our need of Him and treasure Him, thus making it certain to “work out our salvation with fear and trembling”. Questioning my salvation at times has served to further reveal my need for Him and to wane my self reliance. This moves us from making salvation a moment in time experience (the get out of Hell Free Card) to a changed life experience.

Truly, we can not ascertain in the experiential moment if someone is truly saved.

The solution is time abiding in Christ. Just like 1 John reveals as well as the parable of the seed and sewer. Those who abide, last, and bear fruit can be then assured of their salvation.

A Critique of Evangelism via J C Ryle part II

One thing to note is when this was written. John Charles Ryle lived from 1816 to 1900. Our considered work was published in 1879. This was about the time that Charles Finney was transforming the way we did church. Finny was the one whom is credited with “The alter call”. Now I am no expert on Finney, but what I have learned is that he utilized showmanship and emotional theatrics to gain converts. Numbers are what mattered. Thus today we see many of the same devices employed for the appearance of the activity of God.

Let me go on record to say that I am not dismissing the alter call, just critiquing it. I believe that an alter call may have its place. But what is rather to be preferred is the puritan means of “Inquirery”. Inquirery was an extensive visit of the minister to the home of the parishioner. Here the minister would have scheduled time, often two hours or more, to inquire of the spiritual condition of the home and to allow the members of the home to ask direct pointed questions. It was not rushed. It also revealed the consummate nature of spiritual urgency. A minister was afforded the time to ask pointed and specific questions. Typical Sunday school answers would not suffice. Thus the result was often either the making of true disciples or clearly leaving the unconverted with an unquestionable understanding of how the scriptures applied to their condition. Thus my critique of Finney is that he closed the deal quickly and the seed of the word that was sewn was upon the rocky soil at best.

That being said, let us turn again to what Ryle teaches of evangelism.

The defects of the theological system I have in view appear to me to be these: (1) The work of the Holy Ghost in converting sinners is far too much narrowed and confined to one single way. Not all true converts are converted instantaneously, like Saul and the Philippian jailor.

I would agree. Many people it seems come to Christ in a gradual progression. In our church we have a woman who can not point to a single moment when she can say was definitive. She simply says that she knows the Truth that sets her free.

(2) Sinners are not sufficiently instructed about the holiness of God's law, the depth of their sinfulness, and the real guilt of sin. To be incessantly telling a sinner to "come to Christ" is of little use, unless you tell him why he needs to come, and show him fully his sins.

Here is my largest agreement with Ryle. When I “was led to Christ” as a young child it was a quick sale. I did not understand about holiness to any degree. I just wanted a “get out of Hell free card”. I then went about with a notion that I was saved, could not lose my salvations, and could freely sin. I had no idea of the real guilt of my sin, and thus no real understanding of the glory of Christ or the cross. I was nearly through seminary before making this discovery. It also wasn’t until years later that I even went to a greater depth in this understanding. I have missed out on so much worship and knowledge of God, sinned aggressively, all because of a liberal doctrine of sin and holiness. Too often I saw God loving me because I was lovable, after all He died for me right? I did not understand that He died for me based on whom He is , no on whom I am.

We must make this clear. We need to know our sin.

Let us look at it this way, by helping the sinner to see their sin it causes them to recognize the discrepancy between themselves and the holiness of God. Thus then they see the value of being saved. In America today we fail to see our depravity because “we are rich and have no need”. We give little regard to God because we find “fulfillment” in self esteem and its antecedents. If there were any area I would personally love to have developed within me it would be the understanding of my sin and His holiness. For too long I did not have this taught to me. Thus my years of “being a Christian” were characterized by creating theological dodges of responsibility or culpability with ever sermon I heard or dilemma that I came to. But when we have no recourse in the sight of His holiness we become like Isaiah crying “Woe is me”.

A Critique of Evangelism via J C Ryle

Over the last several weeks I have been reading through J C Ryle’s book Holiness. I find it to be a great challenging book that stirs the soul. We need books like this for often we settle for comfortable platitudes. However, a disciple of the Lord need to be challenged and spurred on. The sanctification process that moulds us into the image of Christ is one of action, removing complacency. Thus God has given us J C Ryle.

Below I quote his criticisms and corrections for evangelism. These bear serious consideration. I have often found that current evangelism is much like a sales deal with a time share. The only difference is time share salesmen often take more time in presentation. Over the next few blog entries I hope to walk with you and the good Dr. Ryle in an analysis of evangelism as it should be. As it stands, please read and ponder the truths he shares.

The defects of the theological system I have in view appear to me to be these: (1) The work of the Holy Ghost in converting sinners is far too much narrowed and confined to one single way. Not all true converts are converted instantaneously, like Saul and the Philippian jailor. (2) Sinners are not sufficiently instructed about the holiness of God's law, the depth of their sinfulness, and the real guilt of sin. To be incessantly telling a sinner to "come to Christ" is of little use, unless you tell him why he needs to come, and show him fully his sins. (3) Faith is not properly explained. In some cases people are taught that mere feeling is faith. In others they are taught that if they believe that Christ died for sinners they have faith! At this rate the very devils are believers! (4) The possession of inward joy and assurance is made essential to believing. Yet assurance is certainly not of the essence of saving faith. There may be faith when there is no assurance. To insist on all believers at once "rejoicing," as soon as they believe, is most unsafe. Some, I am quite sure, will rejoice without believing, while others will believe who cannot at once rejoice. (5) Last, but not least, the sovereignty of God in saving sinners, and the absolute necessity of preventing grace, are far too much overlooked. Many talk as if conversions could be manufactured at man's pleasure, and as if there were no such text as this, "It is not of him that willeth, nor of him that runneth, but of God that showeth mercy." (Rom. ix. 16.)

On the other side, many graceless people are deluded into thinking they are "converted," because under the pressure or animal excitement and temporary feelings they arc led to profess themselves Christians. And all this time the thoughtless and ungodly look on with contempt, and rind fresh reasons for neglecting religion altogether. The antidotes to the state of things I deplore are plain and few. (1) Let "all the counsel of God be taught" in Scriptural proportion; and let not two or three precious doctrines of the Gospel be allowed to overshadow all other truths. (2) Let repentance be taught fully as well as faith, and not thrust completely into the background. Our Lord Jesus Christ and St. Paul always taught both. (3) Let the variety of the Holy Ghost's works be honestly stated and admitted; and while instantaneous conversion is pressed on men, let it not be taught as a necessity. (4) Let those who profess to have found immediate sensible peace be plainly warned to try themselves well, and to remember that feeling is not faith, and that "patient continuance in well-doing" is the great proof that faith is true. (John viii. 31.) (5) Let the great duty of "counting the cost" be constantly urged on all who are disposed to make a religious profession, and let them be honestly and fairly told that there is warfare as well as peace, a cross as well as a crown, in Christ's service.