The role of meeting in counseling
One
of the most essential factors for the process is the encouragement and training
the counselee receives through weekly meetings.
These meetings will be structured to make the best use of time and to
keep the counselee moving forward in the best possible manner. The following elements serve both parties in
the process toward this goal.
Encouragement
and hope are the essence of the promises of God. As Christ has said that “you shall know the
truth and the truth shall set you free”, the counselor is a conduit of this
truth.[1] God is glorified as the counselor points the
child of God to the word of God and the sufficiency of God. Most persons in counseling are there because
of frustration, aggravation, or a recognition that they are in trouble. In either situation they need hope.
Hope
may well be the most essential part of keeping a disciple on track for
sanctification. Each week as the
counselee comes for discipleship the counselor is blessed to be the giver of
hope. The counselor sees that hope and
encouragement help to motivate the counselee to continue in their efforts, even
if there has been failure since the last session.
Data
gathering is a process that is always continuing in the weekly meetings and in
homework. Some homework is specifically
designed to give the counselor more information. It may look for patterns, repetitions, points
of failure, attitudes, and other facets of thinking and behavior. Data may be gathered in reviewing the
homework or even the sharing of stories behind situations. The trained counselor will also gather data
in the passing comments or actions of a counselee. These things are called halo data. Reaction to questions by facial expressions
and body language may also be considered as halo data. This data is observed in the peripheral.
Someone may change the subject or grind their teeth while discussing
issues. These responses often indicate
areas that need further probing for data to make and effectual time of
discipleship.
When
a counselee is weekly attending sessions a sense of accountability
develops. They know that the counselor
will hold them to deadlines. They also
can expect that they will be giving answers as to their behaviors and homework
efforts. They are expected to build upon the lessons of
the previous session. Should they fail
in some area they know that they will have to answer for their actions, but
also, gain insights for improvement and encouragement.
Objective
opinions of the counselor will also play a major role in counseling. Though the counselor is aiding the counselee,
they are not taking sides. Here is where
biblical counseling differs greatly from secular thought. The counselee is held responsible for their
actions by the word of God as taught by the counselor. The counselor will not allow excuses and yet
will not be taking sides. They simply
will represent God and hold the counselee to the truth.
One
of the essential roles of meeting with the counselor is confrontation. Though unpleasant, confrontation is the
turning point of all counseling. Adams suggests that there are three implications in
confrontation; implication of a problem, the presupposition that an obstacle
that must be overcome, and that something is wrong in the life of one who is
confronted.[2] It is here that the counselee faces the
reality of their behavior resulting from sin and its ongoing consequences. They
are confronted to make a life altering choice. Confrontation can be met with
denial or repentance. In many cases the
counselee may shift blame and responsibility.
Either way, the counselor uses confrontation as a means of helping the
counselee by getting to the very heart of their problem.
The
meeting time then plays an important role in the thinking of the
counselee. Because many come with a preconceived
diagnosis, based upon what they have been told or heard on television, the
counselor will also have the task of helping the counselee to think biblically
about their life. Biblical thinking
about their condition is a critical step in the process. Often the world calls sinful habit being
bipolar, or a mental illness. For
example; alcoholism is the definition the world gives to a “disease” of failure
to resist the temptation to consume alcohol.
The bible calls it being a drunk. Again, language is important. As a
counselor we can not treat the cause unless we properly aim at its target. The world often seeks to treat symptoms, but
the biblical counselor aims to see God change the heart of the person. We can also use this to build hope in the
counselee. Once they recognize the
problem as sin they can place hope in Christ to pay for and overcome that sin. The world has recovering alcoholics; in
Christ we can have new creations.
Praying with the counselee
In
counseling the role of prayer is imperative.
The counselor can build a great deal of hope in the heart of a counselee
just by praying with them. As the
counselor prays with the disciple it will provide several helps. First it helps them to realize the depth of
the counselor’s care and compassion.
Second it models for them how to pray.
Many counselees will suffer from an inadequate prayer life. After a few weeks it may be quite helpful to
get the counselee to lead in prayer.
When married couples come for guidance we ought to have them pray
together. Thirdly, prayer puts the focus
on God as being our helper, not the counselors.
Fourth, we can use prayer to teach on of the most essential doctrines of
the church. Therefore, participation in
prayer equips the saint for growth beyond the counseling room.
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