Below are the notes from our current study on Sunday nights at Ekron Baptist Church. Being the new pastor, and unaware of any squabbling, it is a good time to openly look over the biblical teaching of how to work out issues that will arise between each other. Not only is this applicable in the church body, it is a tool for use in the home. Within the Kingdom of God let us build bridges, not walls.
Disagreements are not uncommon in a church body, they
regularly occur. But they do not have to
be divisive. Division is the goal of
Satan. Gossip is his mother tongue. Satan seeks to destroy churches. Often the most destructive work is done
within. The heart attitude of believers,
or sometimes wolves in sheep’s clothing within the church, has killed many a
ministry and church. Remember Satan
seeks to steal, kill, and destroy.
A church is a group of God’s children who are still battling
sin through the sanctification process for the goal of being worshippers in
spirit and in truth. Inevitably, our
sinful natures will produce friction.
Friction produces heat. Heat makes
a fire, and fire consumes and destroys.
Paul addressed this very issue in a letter to the
Colossians.
Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised
and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in
all. Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts,
kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if
one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has
forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love,
which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ
rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be
thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing
one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with
thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do
everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father
through him. (Col 3:11-17)
As we get into this study, think of those things that often
cause disagreeance.
·
Personal Preference
·
Miscommunication/misunderstandings
·
Anger
·
Brooding/dwelling on the problems
·
Being defensive or easily offended
·
Our own sinful flesh
·
Being a Pharisee. (Remember, they were blind of
their hypocrisies and traditions)
·
Pride of the self-demanding
·
Many many more issues can come between two
sinful people.
Therefore,
my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the
Lord, my beloved. I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the
Lord. Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women, who have
labored side by side with me in the gospel together with Clement and the rest
of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. (Php 4:1-3)
Mar_9:50 Salt is good, but if the salt has lost its
saltiness, how will you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be
at peace with one another."
1Th_5:13 and to esteem them very highly in love
because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.
And
after some days Paul said to Barnabas, "Let us return and visit the
brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how
they are." Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. But
Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in
Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there arose a sharp
disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark
with him and sailed away to Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and departed, having
been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. And he went through
Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. (Act 15:36-41)
Here Paul and Barnabus no longer
worked together.
Sharp Disagreement
παροξυσμός
paroxusmós; gen. paroxusmoú, masc.
noun from paroxúnō (G3947), to stir up, provoke. In a good sense, a
sharpening; used figuratively meaning an encouragement to some action or
feeling (Heb_10:24). In a bad sense, a paroxysm, the stirring up of anger,
sharp contention, angry dispute (Act_15:39; Sept.: Deu_29:28; Jer_32:37). The
Eng. "paroxysm" is derived from it.
Paul would never have broken unity and have been able to
carry on the work of a missionary. We
can conclude that the separation was a decision based upon strong beliefs, but
that no love was lost between them. They
would have mutually agreed that their mission was different. (However, we never hear from Barnabus again)
We later learn that Paul agrees to work with Mark, Whatever the separation, it was temporary and
not without love.
Col_4:10 Aristarchus my fellow prisoner greets you,
and Mark the cousin of Barnabas (concerning whom you have received
instructions--if he comes to you, welcome him),
2Ti_4:11 Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him
with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry.
Forgiveness is-
agreeing to no longer hold the offense against a person, to never bring it up
again unless it is constructive in helping the offender in a redemptive nature,
and to not dwell upon the problem within one’s own heart.
Matthew 5
Any anger is in
danger of endangering your own soul. A
Christian loves his brother and does not hate him at all (1 John 1).
For
I tell you, unless your righteousness exceeds that of the scribes and
Pharisees, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. "You have heard
that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not murder; and whoever murders
will be liable to judgment.' But I say to you that everyone who is angry with
his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will
be liable to the council; and whoever says, 'You fool!' will be liable
to the hell of fire. So if you are offering your gift at the altar and
there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift
there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then
come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you
are going with him to court, lest your accuser hand you over to the judge, and
the judge to the guard, and you be put in prison. Truly, I say to you, you will
never get out until you have paid the last penny. (Mat 5:20-26)
The righteousness of the Pharisees
stopped at law and appearances, it never proceeded to apply grace.
If you ever utter, or even think, “you fool” or any other
form of disrespect then you are in a situation much like Cain; (Gen 4:7)
If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin
is crouching at the door. Its desire is for you, but you must rule over
it." To be angry with a fellow
Christian is to be in opposition to God.
Whoever loves his brother abides
in the light, and in him there is no cause for stumbling. But whoever hates his
brother is in the darkness and walks in the darkness, and does not know where
he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. (1Jn 2:10-11)
You will never make everyone be at total peace with you. Rom_12:18
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.
In this however, you should always always be ready to forgive and be loving
toward one another. Efforts should be
made to reconcile differences.
Matthew 6
Blessed are the peace
makers
Forgive, and do not
hypocritically put on a face of kindness when bitterness is within your heart.
“but
if you do not forgive others their
trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. "And
when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure
their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you,
they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash
your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who
is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. (Mat 6:15-18)
Mt7
We must be absolutely
careful in judging situations. Often our
own sin blinds us from seeing clearly the situation at hand. If we are to be in righteous anger, we will
also have a right heart attitude.
"Judge
not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be
judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see
the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in
your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of
your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the
log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of
your brother's eye. (Mat 7:1-5)
Psa_4:4 Be angry, and do not sin; ponder in your
own hearts on your beds, and be silent. Selah
Eph_4:26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun
go down on your anger,
Overlook an offense
Pro_19:11
Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an
offense.
Then Peter
came up and said to him, "Lord, how
often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven
times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but
seventy times seven. (Mat 18:21-22)
Mar_11:25 And whenever you stand praying, forgive,
if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in
heaven may forgive you your trespasses."
Joh_20:23 If you forgive the sins of any, they are
forgiven them; if you withhold forgiveness from any, it is withheld."
Do not make a big
deal out of something, and yet fail to love. Do not neglect to show love over inconvenience.
Loving a personal comfort over another person is a form of idolatry.
Luk_11:42
"But woe to you Pharisees! For you tithe mint and rue and every
herb, and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done,
without neglecting the others.
Heb_13:2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to
strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Heb_13:16 Do not neglect to do good and to share what
you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God.
If it is sin, go to
your brother.
There is a biblical way to deal
with sin in another person. Mind you,
this is dealing with sin and not personal preferences. Too often personal preferences have led to
sin and this has destroyed churches.
"If
your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you
and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he
does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge
may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses
to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the
church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. (Mat 18:15-17)
Paul even had to give some folks over for church discipline.
1Co_5:5
I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his
flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.
1Ti_1:20 Among these are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom
I have handed over to Satan, so that they will be taught not to blaspheme.
Remember, the
objective of church discipline is ultimately restoration.
Gal_6:1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any
transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of
gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted.
Now
if anyone has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure--not
to put it too severely--to all of you. For such a one, this punishment by the
majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he
may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for
him. (2Co 2:5-8)
As much as depends on us, let us never be the cause for
someone else to stumble in the faith.
And
he said to his disciples, "Temptations to sin are sure to come, but woe to
the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were
hung around his neck and he were cast into the sea than that he should cause
one of these little ones to sin. Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother
sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you
seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you
must forgive him." The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our
faith!" (Luk 17:1-5)
Overall there are two
simple laws to follow when it comes to encountering people with differences.
Luk_10:27 And he answered, "You shall love the
Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your
strength and with all your mind, and your neighbor as yourself."
