The Pastor's Wife in Persevering

In honor of my wife loving me, and celebrating over eighteen years of marriage, I wanted to repost this article from a while back.

Musings About Persevering Alongside My Wife

In all the struggles I have had to deal with in ministry, no one person this side of Heaven has helped me more than my wife. Now God will send along people from time to time who are given for the moments need. However, no one can surpass God’s plan for perseverance in the ministry that the pastor’s wife as a paraclete.

That being said, the marriage of a pastor ought to be of utmost importance. It should follow the joy of the quiet time. Now I am not a perfect husband, but what follows are a few items that have solidified our marriage and added to perseverance in the hardest of times.

• Daily have time to talk uninterrupted at levels of planning, rejoicing, learning, and intimacy.

Planning means we go over schedules and calendars, concrete things as well as tentative plans.

Rejoicing gives each of us an opportunity to share what wishes for the day and experiences we have had that were significant to us.

Learning gives each of us an opportunity to discover something new as well as teach form our perspective. This is often sharing of scripture and updating one another on the kids.

Intimacy deals with the emotional levels and struggles of life. It also is a time to share wishes and desires.

• Pray with your wife. Make it real prayer too. This leads to inspiration and meditation. It lets God bring solutions as Truth that sets us free.
• Get her perspective. Wives often have what I call “Radar”. They can pick up on things and perspectives of people and situations that we men can not fathom. They are usually right.
• Often let your wife set the pace. I am headstrong and rust to fix everything. Often my wife will give caution to not react till morning. Heeding this advice has saved me from many sorrows.
• Scripture. If my wife gives me a scripture there is usually good reason. I may not need it in that moment, but I will certainly need it before the week is over.
• Keep her #2. Nothing will bring perseverance in your ministry like perseverance in your marriage. Without the home following God, we are unfit for ministry. Honor God by honoring the wife of your youth and you will find unhindered access to God.
• A Character of Love. If you truly love your wife, your actions will form habits, those form character, and thusly you will have a heart of true love. Much has been written about love languages and such. These have great insights, but give your wife love as Christ loved the church, and your ministry will persevere.