BIBLICAL ORDER IN MARRIAGE: THE TWO BECOMING ONE FLESH
Recently I presented a paper in my DMin class on what the
Bible teaches about order in the marriage partnership. This paper sought to define terms, exposit
pertinent scriptures, and provide practical application. It also sought to make
the reader aware of how some well intended Christian teachers have complicated
the issue. Thus, in a hopes that what I
have found and written will benefit you,I am presenting this paper over the
next several posts. Should you have
questions or comments, you may send them to Perseveringpastor@gmail.com.
Genesis 2 and the pre
fall condition of marriage is imperative to our understanding of God’s
intention for Adam and Eve, and subsequently all marriages. When Jesus talks of marriage as “one flesh”
in Matthew 19:4-6, He is describing that union which is part of what makes us
“very good.” The natural design of a man
and a woman is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever. They are even more adept when they are joined
in covenantal unity to do so.
Andreas
Kostenberger points out three principles regarding marriage as God created it:
“the man and the woman are created to rule the earth for God; the man is
created first and is given ultimate responsibility for the marriage
relationship with the wife being a suitable helper, and the fall of humanity
creates negative consequences for both man and woman.”[i] These ideas are supported by the scriptures
of 1 Corinthians 11:9, Ephesians 5, and 1 Timothy 2:12. The biblical idea of
marriage is consistent throughout.
Proverbs 31 gives us a keen insight as to how a wife can honor her
husband as a virtuous and suitable helper.
The
law of entropy states that things move from order to disorder. God however is a God of order. He created everything out of chaos, and
likewise marriages. His order in
marriage is a reflection of who He is.
In Genesis 1 and 2 we see God creating everything with a purpose. These purposes must be understood and
utilized as the ordered goal of the home.
Therefore, husbands and wives are to work together, in an orderly united
fashion, for the purposes of God.
In
Genesis 2 we see an order in creation; man, and then woman. Eve is created out of a necessity for the man
to have a suitable helper. The man is
not complete without his helper.
Therefore, the husband is the chief person of order and responsibility;
however, his helper is what enables him to complete his charge before God. It would be foolish of the man to not love and
protect his helper. In an instance of
harming his wife, he would not only be harming his opportunities for success
and faithfulness before God, his actions would be an affront to God Himself.
We
should consider the gift of a wife from God in the context of Adam and
Eve. Marriage is an orderly institution
created by God. God saw Adam, and in His
design created him with a need for relationship. This is not a flaw, but rather a blessing. This precursor is to help us understand our
need for God in relationship.
Adam
was created, and commanded to be a tiller of the soil and to tend to the
animals before Eve was made. In God’s
order, evidenced in the fall, God holds the husband responsible for the
leadership of the family. Because the
man needed a suitable helper, it is clearly implied that he was to take the
lead responsibility for all matters of the home, yet he was incomplete for the
task at hand. Adam was created to be a
provider and protector; for that he certainly would need a counterpart to love.
“For this reason it
can be truly said that marriage is God’s idea and that it was God who made the
woman of His own sovereign will as a suitable helper for the man (Gen. 2:18, 20
niv).”[ii] Being a suitable helper carries the idea of
being complementary to another. The idea
of a suitable helper comes from the Hebrew words neged and ezer
respectively. These words carry the
direct idea of someone who is complementary in likeness; hence, someone who is
synergistic to the leader. This union is
where we first hear of God blessing; “and He blessed them.”(Genesis 1:28) One author points out; “Genesis 2 does not
teach that she may merely act as the man’s helper when she so chooses but
rather that serving as the man’s helper sums up her very reason for existence
in relation to the man.”[iii]
In
summary, Genesis 2 teaches us that each of the marriage partners has a role to
perform in honoring God. It is a God
honoring occupation to lead a family as well as to serve as the helper.
No comments:
Post a Comment