BIBLICAL ORDER IN MARRIAGE: THE TWO BECOMING ONE FLESH pt 6
Recently I presented a paper in my DMin class on what the
Bible teaches about order in the marriage partnership. This paper sought to define terms, exposit
pertinent scriptures, and provide practical application. It also sought to make
the reader aware of how some well intended Christian teachers have complicated
the issue. Thus, in a hopes that what I
have found and written will benefit you,I am presenting this paper over the
next several posts. Should you have
questions or comments, you may send them to Perseveringpastor@gmail.com.
Bill Gothard and Marriage
Widely
popular among churches for many decades has been the teaching of Bill Gothard. Because of the popularity and absorption of
his teaching into the culture of many churches, an introductory mention is
needed.[i] Gothard, a lifelong bachelor, who began
teaching his principles in the early sixties, reached massive numbers of people
in his seminars of the seventies, and still draws crowds in excess of three
thousand today. He teaches on a wide
variety of subjects, often in minute details.
It is his principles of order in the home that we pause to consider
here.
Gothard
believes there are biblical principles that, when applied by either Christian
or non-Christian, lead to success in life.[ii] His seven principles for success are based
upon character and virtue as illustrated in forty nine qualities that he has
identified in the gospels.[iii] He adamantly denies the label of legalism;
however he asserts that these are “non-optional biblical principles of life.”[iv]
Much of Gothard’s teachings are based
upon the keeping of lists and rules.
Therefore,
Gothard bases many of his teachings on a cause and effect relationship. Much is said about authority of leaders:
wives to husbands, and children to parents.[v]
He strongly tells a youth that his happiness is dependent upon his parent’s
approval of a marriage partner, even when the parents are not living under the
authority of God.[vi] Thus, his teaching is much like the Pharisees
as it dictates the keeping of rules beyond the scriptures as a means of status,
success, and spirituality.
The
dictates of his teachings detail the way a woman ought to dress, decorate the
home, and live under authority.[vii] Little is ever said about relying upon the
Holy Spirit.[viii] Being submissive is to unquestionably obey
those who are superior to you.[ix] In 1983 Gothard began teaching sexual
regulations for a husband and wife in his Advanced Seminars.[x] In many cases, he advocated abstinence for
married couples, against 1 Corinthians 7:5.
This becomes quite problematic, especially for women. According to the logical reasoning applied to
his teaching, a woman is constrained to forever be under her parents’ rule, to
marry the man of her father’s blessing, and to remain under her husband’s
authority.[xi] Little is said about grace, unity, love, and
living to glorify God. Much is said
about outward behavior; little hope is given for the change that is
accomplished through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. For Gothard, to obey her
husband, or father, is her duty to God’s glorification. To disobey God is to invite wrathful
consequences upon herself and her descendants.[xii]
Obviously
this is a hindrance to order in the marriage.
The woman is no longer a suitable helper, but an underling. Gothard’s teachings prescribe a fearful end
to anyone who does not live under the rule of her leaders. Scripture is often manipulated to reflect his
religious order views. This brings forth
a wrong view of grace, forgiveness, repentance, submission, authority, and even
love. Ultimately, the gospel is made a man centric prescription of works.
[i]
Fisher, G. Richard. A Study in Evolving Fadism The Dangerous Leanings of Bill
Gothard’s Teachings. Personal Freedom Outreach. (Pfo.org/evol-fad.htm)
(Accessed October 20, 2012) (2/12)
Gothard often advocates having ‘an inner peace” as a means of discerning
scripture. This however is quite
subjective. Yet, because a leader is in
authority, to question a decision is said to bring serious godly repercussions.
[ii]
Billgothard.com/about/whatiteach/ (2/5) “Personal guilt is one of the most
damaging factors there is to our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual
health. Therefore, scripture instructs
us to gain and maintain a good conscience toward God and others.”
[iii]
Billgothard.com/about/whatiteach/ (4/5)
[iv]
Billgothard.com/about/whatiteach/ (1/5) “The basic principal is that true
happiness does not come from outward appearance of physical circumstances, but
from the development of inward character, such as gratefulness, patience,
compassion, and joyfulness.”
[v]
Billgothard.com/teaching/authority (1/4) “Under each umbrella of protection,
God sets in place the leadership of His choice, just as He placed Moses in
leadership under the ‘umbrella’ over Israel.
So, under each umbrella of protection, God raises up and establishes the
human leadership to represent Him before the people.” This becomes very problematic
for a marriage relationship. The
husband, by this line of reasoning, is the unquestionable authority of the
entire home. The wife is falsely taught
that she is out of God’s will and faces repercussions for violating her
husbands wishes.
[vi]
Billgothard.com/teaching/authority (3/4)
“There are serious consequences for any son or daughter who gets out
from under this protection.”
[vii]
Fisher, G. Richard. A Study in Evolving Fadism The Dangerous Leanings of Bill
Gothard’s Teachings. Personal Freedom Outreach. (Pfo.org/evol-fad.htm)
(Accessed October 20, 2012) (8/12)
[viii]
Beard, J. Bill Gothard general teachings/Activities.
Rapidnet.com/~jbeard/bdm/exposes/Gothard/general.htem (accessed October 20,
2012. (5/26) Gothard teaches much
Freudian psychology, birth order influences, receiving “a word from the Lord,”
and self image as an entire principle in the acceptance of the self.
[ix]
Billgothard.com/about/whatiteach/ (1/5) “People, especially teenagers, don’t
like to hear about rules. However, when
they understand the underlying principles of life, they will often make rules
or guidelines for themselves to ensure that they do not experience the
consequences of violating principals.”
Thus Gothard endorses behavior modification akin to a Pavlovian dog,
rather than a loving relationship of grace and sanctification unto God.
[x]
Fisher, G. Richard. A Study in Evolving Fadism The Dangerous Leanings of Bill
Gothard’s Teachings. Personal Freedom Outreach. (Pfo.org/evol-fad.htm)
(Accessed October 20, 2012) (6/12)
[xi]
Gothard, Bill. What is Courtship. Billgothard.com/teaching/courtship. (accessed
Nov 7, 2012) (2/4) “God has entrusted to the parents, and
especially the father, the responsibility to give the daughter in marriage.”
[xii]
Fisher, G. Richard. A Study in Evolving Fadism The Dangerous Leanings of Bill
Gothard’s Teachings. Personal Freedom Outreach. (Pfo.org/evol-fad.htm)
(Accessed October 20, 2012) (3/12)
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